Ive never been good at dealing with death. At understanding how the end of a life could be a celebration. Or how people keep moving forward after losing someone they love.

Our family lost Ethan in July 2020. it was two weeks before I started my first year of grad school. I drove the 13 hours home, crying, laughing, yelling. I felt so confused and all I knew was that I needed to be with my family. When it came time to start school, I nearly convinced myself to stay. It felt selfish to leave them. But I left.

Sometimes I still lie awake at night flipping through the Rolodex of my mind. Wondering who might need a late night reminder that you are loved. That this pain is temporary. That I see you.

But that is too heavy a burden to carry. I know I shouldn’t lose sleep worrying that you might be feeling sad. Or that somehow I’m the one person who could help you.

So I hope to channel that energy into this work. Life after tragedy, after death, after suicide. I continue to find strength through my nieces and nephew, and my sister-in-law. Through their perseverance and grace. We move forward, we heal and we will always honor your memory, 'Uncle E'.

(This project is ongoing)